the haunted DREAM

Today is 29^th of December. I am running towards the stop sign, as my holiday is going to end. *Sigh* And yes, am still in my village. To be exact at Kg. Sri Bahagia, Mostyn. We have another thanksgiving ceremony for our late grandfather tomorrow. So, I should be busy now, helping my aunties at the kitchen. Suppose to be. But as the laziness revolves around me, here I am sitting down , writing my blog. Oh did I mention about my nightmare last night?

A nightmare that darken my dream, engulf my happiness and pulling out the smile of mine. Well I cannot remember the whole story, because sometimes you cannot recall the plot of your dream. You just have SLIGHTHEST hint of what it is all about. Basically it was about my exam’s grade. Predictable right?

I dream of my Biology’s teacher, Madam Nur Hayatee threw her tantrum at me because I got 0 for a section in paper 2. I felt as if I was receiving the Death Note when she returned my exam paper. It was blurry, I cannot recall the exact grade I got, but it was scary. I think she did hit my hands with a weapon. ‘weapon’ in my imagination is a chastisement’s equipment though I cannot recall the exact tool. Well, I pray it WILL not become a reality. Even if it is, I hope it will not be my grade for IB Exam in Jun 2011. You know what, I target to get at least 30 points for my 3^rd term exam. 30 is the minimum requirement needed if you don’t want to be called to a session for the Academic Day. But still 36 is what I need to fly!

Ameen. J well, let’s hope for the best and wait for my real result.

inner heart

still have a chance, because I feel the spark in my mind.

i see it through my very own eyes, i know

this is what i want

Allah, i give it all to you. guide me to the rigtheous road,

please avoid me from taking the astray

doors.

ameen

When a 19 years old girl speaks

bittersweet of my heart. I never regret that I actually gave a shot long time ago. When they say no, it is not going to end anywhere. Sure, after all the heartbreak at first, at least I can walk away knowing that all my lists had been done. It is NOT the right time to point out who is responsible to clean up the mess, instead I should see beyond it. See the future beneath the past. Experience that I gained is far more expensive that the sophisticated gadgets in the market now.

If you make a mistake once, you are not stupid. you just need to learn from it. SIGH. I never learn anything from it.

I think , it is the good time to learn about self respect. Enjoying the healing process, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Best way is to forgive. Pensive and poignant do awful thing that destroy my body and positioned my health at dangerous level.

Now I wonder why my tone is rather, monotonous? +_+

Ouh, maybe because I want to tone down. Speaking like a mature girl. Duh, this is when JAM start to untangle the knot in her mind.

But I can never stand when people lies. to be specific a guy lies.

I rather know something that is heartbreaking rather that have to find it own my own. to be exact if I keep wondering what happened while the whole world singing the truth out of their tune.

It is fun. I need to collect the pieces one by one, filtered them and fixed in a box of picture. A box of picture which contained all the uncertainties. All in all, a misery.

But IT is heart wrecking because I need to keep it silent. Hold everything and locked them in my diary. And my mouth too.

As the wise man says,

the truth never fade, it will reveal itself

I guess that's happened. And that is how this story ends. Too bad that you couldn't see what you should see at the very end.

Here I am, rather let myself drown in self destructing ocean, I rather be strong . Trying hard to swim against the heartless waves. And sometimes let the tide and low carried me away.

I know that the best pieces always come from something you care about deeply, my soul. My heart. I'm not ashamed to admit I'm was too emo-ing way back then, that is Jemz. The fact never be changed. To wrap this crap, I would hold my breathe and let it gently and slowly. The end. I hope to create a happy ending, next time. woooohooo. i mean it.

the CURE

We had aqiqah ceremony last few days for baby Akif, ( my uncle's son).So, I had chance to meet my long-lost aunties, uncles, my closest cousins, my nephews, nieces, my grandson.. More people.more merrier the ceremony minus the curious part. Yup, the curious part where my aunties asked my mother about my skin. Oh yeah, since Kasukma ( sport days), my skin complexion getting darker and acne deluged plus blemishes attacked my face. My eczema worsen my condition so I ended up having a prone-acne skin. :(

It still bugging me, because before this when I was involved in any sports competition, I admit that my skin tone getting darker. However, I had never get any problem with MR.ACNE.

Since Kasukma 2010, I found my life just like the pressure cooker waiting the breakout times.

Yeah , people said be grateful for what you have and be comfortable in your own skin. I think I should, but this time I can't handle this no more. So, I used the opportunity chaperoning my mother to a nearby clinic, and ask for a treatment. Initially, I was asking the doctor if she knows any dermatologists. Sadly, she said she knew none. But she took a look on my face and said this is NORMAL!

oh yeah. again NORMAL!

After the some small talk, she gave me choices whether to consume an oral meditation or dabbed my face with a bottle of antibiotics that cost me about RM27. I choose the second one, not because it is cheaper but I don't want to take any risk of the oral medicine's side effects. She also recommended me to use the Sebamed Teenage starter kit because of the positive feedback from her previous patients.

To be honest, I kinda tired to change the facial product,but mom try to convince me this one might worked. So, LET'S SHOP. I really hope this one will help to clear out my outrageous acne after being unsuccessful with other brands.

Yeah, kunak is a small town, with no pharmacist available. But it's okay, I will find the facial product later.

wishlist

WISHes LIST on my 19th birthday!

Fuh, it's been a while, I didn't write anything on my blog. Yeah, my family and I at Kuna k a.k.a my village now. I can spot few changes, like the weather is more warmer than before, new houses were built nearby my grandparent's house and the road is blanketed with tar which ease the car's movement. My grandfather had passed away leaving my grandmom staying in the big house with Uncle Masjur, his wife Aunt Mina, 1st child : Nurul. 2nd child : Irshan 3rd child : Bella and the baby boy : Akif.

Enough about my village, let's come back with new agenda, wishlist 2o1o

I wish .... :-

1. My family and I will be blessed with prosperity and health. Ameen.

2. ...that my friends, the whole BATCH KITA, my senior and I reach our dream, fly to our DREAMLAND, start the new living and for those who bounded with NewMed Malaysia, hope you hit your target!

3. .. I had new baju kurung (s) for college-days!

4. I want a new boyfriend just like him ... ( he is engaged recently, so all I can say is give me a replacement. okay, crap :P )

5. Please, if anyone found MR. MP3, please return it to me. :( i miss him so much. ( note : A keychain named JEMZ hanging on it)

whoooooooooooooot

madam TIK TOK TIK TOK

im about to be insane, today is my birthday! and I will be dead if I couldnt finish this 2nd draft.

oh yeah, TOK thank you for the BIG present

sparkling psycho :)

OPTION

People, we always have option(s) to look at life in positive or negative way. Then, I realized I should take a lot of negative situations and look at them in a funnier way.

It doesn't matter how bad you feel about EE, your TOK first draft ( assigments), at friends who fail to fullfil their promise due to others' commitment, and about your environment.

because

I don't wanna spend my life wallowing in self-pity and I don't want to spend life being insecure.

I think I'm really fun and carefree. Optimistic is what I keep reminding myself to hold on to. In addition, I hate pessimist,

" You can't do that!"

" Seriously you will be dead. It is tough, even smart people didn't excel at it!"

"Let's see if you are capable to do it," -sigh-

Watch me! I'm able to do that.

Pn. Anita , my english teacher once told us a story about the frog. How a frog won the battle by reaching at the top of the tower. No, he was not the fastest among the all the frogs, nor he was the smartest. but

he is deaf, he cannot heard the negative thought, the boo-ing sound and the s***** curse. HE is the champion, no matter what people said. I guess we heard millions of inspired story, since we were young, we being fed with motivational stories, how our prophet MUHAMMAD won people's heart in MADINAH due to his honesty and never-ending efforts, ALBERT EINSTEIN ,the stupid boy who grew up to be A genius, ABRAHAM LINCON who fails few times before won the president position ,

and many more.

how sad it could be when we just wait and see the happy ending. Why don't we create our own story and draw the finishing line. BE inspired and be positive.

and

I think people has misconception about me and my personality. Maybe because I will do exactly what I want when I want to. mind my own thought and do it in my own way. hahaha, I almost laughed when one of the boys comment me on fb

" first impression? you are selekeh"

haha, it is indeed true. in college, im damn selekeh.( exagerration) I dont care much bout thing, about people, about my belongings. i JUST CAN'T HELP IT. But I care bout my friends, and people that I love most - my parents!.

so people, be inspired!

OVER BY fynn jamal

what more do you want to hear from me?
is there anything you wish to see?
a joke? a laugh? a smile? a cry?
a scream? a song? a lullaby?

see i know we are not who we were
i live in denial, remember?
so please don't ask me to open my eyes
don't wanna wake up and realize--

the honeymoon's over
that i should better
be mature.

i'm sorry i do not know what to say
do understand i'm breaking, but hey
when you tell me that you are leaving
don't think i did not see it coming

see, of course i saw we no longer
having stuff we enjoy together
but can we play along our part
and not parade this change of heart?

are you really sure
that we off better
and over?

what more can i say when you wish to leave today
i wont break down now and burst
but --
would you like to have one last breakfast?

AL-CHEMIST

HEhe, the exam is finally over. fuh?! actually my exam was held about 1 week and 1 day ( to be exact). Since I have to sit for 6 subjects, so each day is occupied with 1 subject, started with the first subject - on monday and ended up on friday. And the next monday, left only Biology paper.

so, here is my summary :-

1) chemistry : paper 1, i have left with 5 mins, and still i had tons of questions haven't read, of course haven't answer them yet. and there you go ," 5 mins, left" okay, thank you Madam invigilator. It's SHOW TIME! yes, every bullet not gonna be wasted.and hell yes, most of the answers chosen were not coming from my brain, they derived from the muscle tissues of my hands. But the tragic part was when I was done with chem's paper and happily walking to our CAFETERIA, guesS who I met halfway? A ah, MY BELOVED CHEM'S TEACHER.



" You did poorly for paper 1. 22/40" and he left. okay okay okay... :( :( :(
FirstlY, I felt grateful, at least the marks were beyond my expectation. but to be honest, deep inside I'm poignant. It was my first paper and well bad omen, i guess . ( okay, I shouldn't believe in it)..

but

In every difficulty lies an opportunity, it doesn't matter how many incorrect answers I had done, or how upset my teacher and I could be, but I actually dig up the hole of opportunity. to make it simple, at least I have a big room for improvement. It is better to make mistakes now rather than doing it later, in my final IB exam which is only 6 months away. and I really really really believe in Allah. Allah can change his servant's heart in a split second, a ah including my heart, yours , them and every single creature in this world. The most gracious and powerful, Allah has hidden his best gift for us, and it is our job to discover it ourselves. So, lets reveal our gift and never forget to praise Him for HIS kindness.


Tuesday : MATHEMATICS
wED : agama ISLAM and MALAY A1
thursday : english HL
friday : Business and Management

Monday : Biology HL

monday's night : which is now, blogging and facebooking :)

Oh, my flight is on Wednesday, SABAH i miss you so!

I DONT HAVE ANY ISSUE

YOU AND ME
WE DON'T REALLY HAVE AN ISSUE. YOU ARE NOT my friend nor foe. and please, i don't wanna have any connection with you, ever again. now will you please, leave?

I know it sounds harsh, but face it man. Everything is over, i mean it, OVVVVVVEERRRRR.
you can accuse me for being intolerate, for throwing non-stop tantrum, for spreading stories. but oh yeaahhh your story is far more dramatic than mine, kan?

so why don't you sell off your story, and count your blessings. I do forgive but not to forget it. If only my brain have a cip which stores all the database, I will plug-in my brain in LRC (library) 's computer. Why? Because the computer contains powerful VIRUS, and sure can invade the cip. Make it short, delete all those memories.

But I cannot do that, get me?




soooooo




BYE! please leave, i reallly2 mean it.

bermuda triangle?

a ah, because you no longer be seen, anywhere,

huhuhu, abah i miss you,

to : -

yup, this is for you. continue reading...

i cant text yo, coz i love keyboard much much more than keypad. calling will cause the credit running out without i even realize it.( yup because of the stupid silent moment juga, x worth it)

face to face? a major NO NO,

talking to people, my trusting system turns topsy-turvy. i rather keep this silent.

and this is the only way, to pour my feeling outta my heart,

can i call you jerk? i really want to, screaming at your face and walk away, hahah :) should I? could I?

nah, am not that mean.

friend,

my life takes me down a bunch of crazy roads. I have personal probs, break-ups, friendship conflict, my health ( toplist)

and I had to figure out how to be cool, and less gelabah, tryin' so hard to hide my pale face by laughing out loud, wearing facade over this pathetic jemmy

and and calling my parents so often, their voice - enough to comfort me. ( usually i call more than 2 times per day)

i dont wanna fall apart when the roads gets bumpy, i am stronger. i am.

the thing is, when am going through this emoshitt probs, its great to have you by my side. but no matter what you say, its not going to make this better but at least you listened. its great, having you, as one of those friends who are willing to lend your ears, to me. because the more i talked about the situation, the more I'd become to the answer n create my own solutions.

and thats is when I can move on and get over it.

Dear friend,

THANK YOU A BUNCH. what else I can say?? you really like a chlorox. help me to ease my working by pulling off the dirty out of my lovable shirt. thanks chlorox. but

why, the most trusted person dared to break the trust? SHIT happens huh? a ah. and Im not expecting you to be a perfect friend. but what is your real intention?? laughing at the back? whatttt???

and am really shocked, when am playing, the boy really uttered the message that is meant for u,

it is when am not looking, big winds up coming along,

follows by thunder

and you left me in guilt. you know this is the hardest part, what would you expected me to say? to act? when im living under the same roof as her.??

i feel like a betrayer, am I???life goes on, im sorry.

it goes on.

no matter how dramatic or traumatic , it would never damage me severely. INSYALLAH. and I can truly say that, i've never been afraid to do something to THE FULLEST out of fear of getting hurt.

you know, every relationship,

i learn what i love about that person, as well as what I dont about the person. and through all of that, wind up becoming more clearer.

its okay to let go. its okay to enjoy. i never forget the vow, wont let the friendship split up. i always remember the time I got trouble, and needy. but are you always there? or am im the one who is despertely searching for you?

" i dont need anyone"

" i know how to rely only myself and heal myself"

and thats lie. that i owez feed in my mind. losing friend is never easy,

and FRIENDS ARE NOT GREAT AT EVERYTG. but they still friend. :)

i dont care much bout my things, i dont care much for people. bt i do care bout friend, look up you'll see. i see those light, even in the pitch black darkness.

and, iam learning about myself. the cursor pointed me. i knew,

SOME MISTAKE IS HARD TO UNDONE

i lose. we lose. i keep asking, am not a goood captain? maybe it was about the external factors? should i take the blame? i wanna win, so badly.

win doesnt mean everything, i know it. i just know it. i guess i knew it.

mistake is hard to undone, but i had no control over my own flaws. some mistakes are funny. one day, i will turn back, and laugh at myself. how silly i am.

high? tipsy? merry?

dont mix caffeine with your coke. it drives me nut, drives me crazy.

RAYA 2010, like no other,

this is my lil bro - JOHAN!

Imam tengah takbir, but this is what am doin' at the back. astgfrlah.

my sis, liya with my ABAH :O

lil sis, LIYA :)
my hot mama- :)

, its RAYA, palms up - ALHAMDULILAH, yup eventho i miss THE sacred ramadhan, buT time wont stop ticking, not even i want it to stop so badly kan, kan kan,

so here i am, in KK, best gilak ne, am HOME, hihi, 1 syawal raya di rumah jak diz, mama skt lagi, so x bley jalan jauh2. at least kt uma, i am her nurse, her parlor. A ah, PARLOR. :) hope my lil effort could ease her pain, ooo ya, mood : raya!

XYLEMXYLEM

you lignified your wall with strong bricks,
blind folded others with your fairy tales,
but
you forgOt that
you have numerous of pits
abundant holes
you can't denIED the truth
no matter how hard you tried
you are just

A DEAD HOLLOW, XYLEM.

deep down

instead of being your kitten, I COULD BE a puppy of yours.
- bunga -

magic,magic magic

wow. im in sem 3 odi.. the toughest sem in kmb( seniors said).. and teachers tooooo its cliche... grrrrr. i have nothng to expct.. my life is norm so does my imagry life.. hahha.. i still keeppp moving despite of all the obstacles that i had been through,
" if it doesnt kill you, it made you stronger" - quote from our penghuluwati tym JPAM camp.

huhu :)

miracles happen here and there. I am so amazed at HIS magic. it was so irresistable, neither me you, them could hande it. alhamdulilah. The only words that flew out through my mouth at that particular time. again, THANK YOU ALLAH.

tooo gooood to be true, i usually get what I wish for. errmmm money doesnt take into account aa.. hihi.. one day, i just sat down and gve a very deeep thought about it.

crappp.... idk what i am writing for. i just.. write this down, after a tirong IELTS class...

i couldnt control the storyline, i m just an actress, to play my part with HIS direction.so why bother to be down? when you knew your rewards in after life?

no one worth the rush

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did
And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know
Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wear
I know (i know)
And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them


Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

of GIRLS & GIRLS

ok. Fareeza . mY first friend in my class. She helps me alot! I am kinda girl who always forget abouuut errmmm everythng. And I always forget or actually lost my key rooms. SO come the rescue! MRS. fAREEZA!! @ EASY. . She always there whenever I knockd her door. WITH a pathetic face, a big smile like this :) , she nodded quickly. AND TADAAAA~~ she unlocked my door + sometimes her roomates helps me too. Evertime I wanna cry, i will come to her FIRST. (p/s our room is sooo near). I used her charger anytime I wanted, since we have same fon's brand. And she is actually my Tablemate.. bt Fareeza is a lion... and her words can "roooaaaaarrrrr"". hahahah. I HURTed few times but I KNEw she was talking the truth. THE MOST VITAL REASON WHY i Love her?? she will tell you everything in her mind and not what exactly what u wanted hear. speaking of the honesty - Fareeza is in my toplist candidaates..

Since she is a green person, her belongings are perfectly in order. Her room is so neat and tidy.She is unique in her own way. oh YA, she is beautiful and she walks like a model! roooaaaaarr. lion - hot model. serious ;)

Dear fareeza, I am so sorrrryyyy if i ever hurt you or if i am a burden to you. You are my saviour - wondergirl! yeah XD

THANKS A LOT.

Ok this is Afiqah Moghni. At first, i thought she is so classy and if you ever noticed, from one angle, she looks like Marsha AF. hahah( Fi, I know you hate this, hahahahha.) During orientation day, she looks like MISS Arrogant except her irresistable smile. This hawt girl has a wonderful smile.. Fi, how we can be sooo close aaa??? okay. Maybe because of geographical factor. She is mix-blooded sarawakian+ _______ (i FORGOT WHERe your dad come from). myb Selangor. No wonder she is smart. Fi once said " mix blooded children always smarter than the non-mix one". She never realized, she was talking bout herself.. huhu. Erm, she always good when it comes to putting the words in perfect ORDER. I mean sometimes, when you got sooo many words jumbled up, bt you just couldnt expressed it. Ask Fi, she know what to do. Seriously I learnt a lot from her, she even influenced me to read Jodi Picoult's novel. ( i hate reading novels). Bt exception goes because of her.hahaha. oh ya, one thing, She has a cool IPHONE. thx you so much coz allowed me to play with it. ;) and lappy too,for facebooking.

Thank you so much for invited me to your house and let me spend the one week holiday with your family.. and made me feel like i was at my own house.. and her Mama rocx! She asked me go to sleep when i woke up so early during the hols. hihi.

Fi, remembered during Kem Amal Islami, you felt so insecured? and I know why. And you asked me to sit by your side?? Im SOOO glad that I could comfort you.. I feel appreciated when you need me and just have time to talk bout ehehehemmmmmmmmm... I wanna let you know, you could find me anytime you wanted..

p/s = she is a wonderful cheerleader. A rainbow girl. Rainbow= colourful=beautiful.

ok. i dunno what to do now. hihihi. thats a good reason why i am here. writing crappy things.again. k then, k now i wanna introduce, my precious friend, my sister....










1) ok. her name is farha.or simply SAFO stands for sitti anis farha osman. hihi. seriously, she is the one who turns my perception 360 degree about "gedik" girl. hhuhu.. i remembered during orientation day ( we are in the same group for certain events/slots), farha so elegant and dainty. Her sharp nose IS ADORABLE. i dunno why, she looks so matured LIKE a




high profile student. oh ya, there is one time, we had to build wind... ok i seriously forget the name.windfall no. windshelter.. grrrrr... never mind, remind me later about the name. . we were provided with straws only, and the condition = the fan must be able to rotate without damaging the whole _______( insert the name of the thing).. well, since we were just enrolled, it hard to communicate with strangers.. ( admit it).. So, a kelantenese guy took the role to lead our group and proceed with the ___________( insert it). However, his accent is toooo strong, eventho he tried to speak English ( consindering his group mates from different state in Malaysia), i couldnt understand some words... many words actually, i got confused whether he conversed in BM or Bi. Speechless, i gave him a weird look while he was expressing his idea to all of us. And I looked around, everyone looked confused too but some managed to just nod. I dont know they truly understand or just giving him a solid nod. Not long after that, i heard a girl's voice. She tried hard to translate what the kelantanese guy was saying.. She looks sincere, i mean you could tell if the person want to make fun of people because of their difference or another way around.. AND its her. FARHA... we failed to complete the task, everyone seems dissapointed. No words were spoken but their face could gave me 100 signals that at least they were down. again. This girl comforted us again. " its ok, at least we had finish done the ________, eventho the fan cannot rotate. thx guys". Wow, thats a good impression.. I could write an essay bout her, or mayb the words is equivalent to our EE"s standard essay.













duh!! lets keep it simple. OK, then she turns out to be my classmate. Okay, i wasnt into "gedik" girl. No, i know we are all different, we should embrace each other. but there are some kind of girls who really the opposite of you. but I dont hate them. I just ... erm jealous??? nope. I just x comfort to be around them. Obviously, FARHA is that kinda girl. Sometimes i GET ANNOYED , of her endless questions to teachers. Note : she is very2 muc like the kindagarten kids who always questions wat the teacher are teaching, giving her opinion ( seriously her opinion can twist your paradigm over something) ... and her manja act. Bt, the moment when she asked me to her house , i just couldnt say no. Her family were sooo damn kind and welcoming. Her mother is a superb chef ( love her soo much). I could stay at her house whenever I want ( holiday). Then , I dunno why, slowly we became closed. She isnt "gedik". Seriously, i mean she is a spoiled girl but it flows naturally.. she treated boys and girls almost equal. ( gedik = act bit*hy in front of guyS)... then i know, some girl just born with it. I know actually we are the opposite of others but ....








DEar farha, i miss you girl. remmebered all our promises? our secrets? Remember i always find you evertime i fall. remembered i CRIEd non-stop, then You tried so hard to comfort me. Remember the time i was sooo damn hungry, you offered me some food eventho u were hungried too. Remembered I going through a lot, I vomitted a lot & refused to eat, refused to study... You stayed by my side and dragged me back to reality, woke me up from my n8mare.. You are so loyal. Truly. I wanna thanked you for all your kindness and I am so sooooorrrryyy If I ever hurt you..
P/S = dONT be fooled by her mature looks. original facade.

erm, then my classmates. i am luckly to be in MO9L, my classmates are cool, thoughtful and super duber loud! boooo...

to mo9l girls

atiqah : i always looked up for you, for the best advise. you are a matured kakak for me.

anis - your gentle really amazed me. You are funnny & super sensitive to people . I like the way you beat Alif & Anding evertime they want to condemn you.
hanim= HYE smart girl. U really helpful & not to firget your joker part.

AMANi - You are fierce but kind hearted. You worked so hard & a talented mother. ;)
Muna : SISTER, YOU are so creative. And im sooooo clingy to you especially during exam. hahha. dont ask me why.
ADILA : hey silent killer. your wrong tune voice amuzed me.
Ah moy : thx you for all the knowledge you shared with me... You never complain when i asked you over a question for many times.. hahah
SharifAH : you sangat manis. ;) sangat2...
farah : bulat2.. you soooo rajin. hardworking and sometimes in a group, you willing to do more task compared to other people. thx.



gIRLS = SORRY for stolen your pic. i love you all.

Cuba GIRL

FIRST OF ALL.... - CUBA????_ yup it is a name of a place. more specificly a country. hahha. well i got this name during my high school, @ mjsc kota kinabalu.



and dont ask me why, coz i still wondering why bt i never had the urge to ask "them". THEM ----> all my guy friend who love to label people, & also the volleyball players . I try to convince myself that it doesnt matter what they really want to insult, yet it gets past all my armour. and sometimes it can eat away my inner confidence and make me question myself.

BUT AS time goes by, you realized that people couldn't stop shut their mouth up. then, it makes me grow - i should get heal without getting bitter. ;)


enoff with that,

bt i have some clue, to reveal THE secret of "cuba girl".. tadaaaaa~



a) because i have tan complexion, thank you to all the tournaments and games, which never fail to give me a remarkable gift ----> SUN BURN. ;) . ( love is colourblind, i shouldnt worry too much)



b) because i have a nice service.. hahah, not my intention to brag, bt i remembered we won a game at district level, because of my 24 times non-stop-service. hihi. 25-1.. wuhooo.



credit to MR HASSAN , my autocratic couch who once made me cried during the practise because my service was errrrr out of tune. His loud voice is enough to make you body trembling, you knee weakening and your performance is a DUHHHH! . since that day, i promised to myself to mould a perfect service.

"because you are a complete loser, when you fail to let the ball goes into the opponent's side."



so back to my questin, i prefer B to be the answer. yeah~ optimistic. hihi.



yup, i am a sport girl, a restless one who couldn't stand still. i love volley so much and ya i used to be a long distance runner. my favour one - 800m, equal to two times parameter of a track (field).. usually whenever i had a downfall, i will jog around the field, just to felt the breeze , let all my problems set free...



unfortunately, here in my college, no track& field facilities are provided. i mean, they dont have the facilities for runner, if they do, it is unsafety i thought, due to the geographical problems - field. errr dont get me wrong, they have superb facilities for other sports including tennis, futsal, basketball court, volleyball court, lawn ball, football field, rugby field & etc... but they cant provide us with everything we wanted. i learnt my lesson ;)



so. every evening you could find me playing volleyball at volleyball court , and sometimes i would be palying basketball with the girls and boys too. and eventhough im deadly sick, i still playing unless it was raining miaaaaowww & wooofffff2.



and thats the beginning of my love story - college version. ;)

shopping with my man

lol,,,, SInce my mom is unwell, my abah n I have to shop together, the best part is, even brtekak" wif abah bcoz i dunno which one is the typical fish yng mama slalu beli.. grrr... then according to mom's list, kn beli sardin with cap merah kt penutupnya, ais krim -choc flavour -mangolia, pear kaler hijau, buah apple - make sure the shape is a bit oval.dont opt for superficial one, maybe over racun sgt~~~ i am sure mama is a GREEN people

n the list goes on and on.... now i realized, the importnce of a MOTHER to take care of her family,her child, foods & other stuff.. huk3...

ystday, my turn masak! OMG did i tell u i dont know how to cook??? herm... first trial = fail! ikan hangus.. lalalala~~ then my mom membebel non stop.. 2nd trial! passsssss

yihaaaaa
sedap kot.. oh ya, kt uma my dad is the one who always eat fish. he wont eat anytg else but fish.. (*ok sometimes he opt for egg). BEEF?? nooo
chicken ? double nooo.


AND I DONT KNOW WHY, myb he is on diet, ;) soorry abah....
bt he memang kurus skit dah, myb berkat men badminton every thursday and sunday, n if he won , memang bertin tin 100 plus bawa balik uma. hahah.

n ending dia my sis and I yng habiskan,lalala


mama ~~ cepatla sembuh, nak makan sedap2 :( amiin

intro

ok. finally i have my own blog. kinda funny because i didnt used to write craps thingy, but now i know i have to. . i just need to numb my mind,to empty my memories or could i ask to delete some of my data?? huhu



ok.lets restart. hye I am jemz. my full name is Jamariah, some of my friend asked me, y jemz? why not maria??

jemz = jam. pronounce it perfectly~~~ ;)

ok. Maria??? it is a ghost name. i do know why but i feel ghoosebumps, my hair straight up lol! scary.. maria~~~~~~~ ok. stop!



i am a college student. yeah, im 18. bt being GROWN Up girl wasn't a piece of a cake job. well, when im in high school, most of the time im thinking of PNG, standrdzd test, outing , BOYS and clinque. bt now... i have lotsa problem to be handle, n sometimes i feel like i wanna give up.. bt Hello!



this is jemz. gIVE UP never exist in her dictionary, optimistic yeah!