When a 19 years old girl speaks

bittersweet of my heart. I never regret that I actually gave a shot long time ago. When they say no, it is not going to end anywhere. Sure, after all the heartbreak at first, at least I can walk away knowing that all my lists had been done. It is NOT the right time to point out who is responsible to clean up the mess, instead I should see beyond it. See the future beneath the past. Experience that I gained is far more expensive that the sophisticated gadgets in the market now.

If you make a mistake once, you are not stupid. you just need to learn from it. SIGH. I never learn anything from it.

I think , it is the good time to learn about self respect. Enjoying the healing process, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Best way is to forgive. Pensive and poignant do awful thing that destroy my body and positioned my health at dangerous level.

Now I wonder why my tone is rather, monotonous? +_+

Ouh, maybe because I want to tone down. Speaking like a mature girl. Duh, this is when JAM start to untangle the knot in her mind.

But I can never stand when people lies. to be specific a guy lies.

I rather know something that is heartbreaking rather that have to find it own my own. to be exact if I keep wondering what happened while the whole world singing the truth out of their tune.

It is fun. I need to collect the pieces one by one, filtered them and fixed in a box of picture. A box of picture which contained all the uncertainties. All in all, a misery.

But IT is heart wrecking because I need to keep it silent. Hold everything and locked them in my diary. And my mouth too.

As the wise man says,

the truth never fade, it will reveal itself

I guess that's happened. And that is how this story ends. Too bad that you couldn't see what you should see at the very end.

Here I am, rather let myself drown in self destructing ocean, I rather be strong . Trying hard to swim against the heartless waves. And sometimes let the tide and low carried me away.

I know that the best pieces always come from something you care about deeply, my soul. My heart. I'm not ashamed to admit I'm was too emo-ing way back then, that is Jemz. The fact never be changed. To wrap this crap, I would hold my breathe and let it gently and slowly. The end. I hope to create a happy ending, next time. woooohooo. i mean it.