Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Sun, Moon

And there is a peace knowing that all things that turn into dead ends for a concrete reason.

Easy said than done. I know. She hurts. If only I have courage to tell her everything, anything , I would. But nothing that came out of my lips can comfort her. Absolutely nothing.

How it felt being left out in the dark after you are told than the sunset is not exist. Black pitch, until you cannot see even a single soul. Wailing, screaming and running in a single breath. You are not blind, your heart is. And you wonder if only you can find a way to escape.

Like the broken glasses, you can actually see the shattered on the floor. Your heart is broken, and you can hear it. Numerous questions endlessly popped up in your mind.

What had I done?

What is my fault?

Why he did that to me?

Is he still loves me?

And the voice in your head won’t stop. It occupies almost all the capacity of your brain, whenever the memory bleak out. It is so clear, even after your hands are tight over your ears, even after you want it to stop immediately. It can’t.

Dear friend, look up. The sky is seems wider and the stars are starting to come out. The shine from the moon is not blistering hot, like the sun do. Allah has arranges everything perfectly for you and I am convinced it is a puzzle. For you to grow smarter each day and solve it at the end of the day. (:

How I know? Because I had been there.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011


" I firmly believe that what makes you sexy and beautiful is not the size of your body and lipstick you have on. What really makes you sexy is what your project, your confidence, and your self awareness, having a great sense of humour and being really smart. "
- Kate Dilon, plus size model




Saturday, June 25, 2011

Mr. Saint, Mr. Satan.

Memoir of a bartender,

Sometimes you couldn’t help but failing for the same person over and over again. Maybe failing is not the right word; let’s change it to “turning to”.

Sometimes you couldn’t help turning to the same person over and over again.

His greatest ability is to put the right words together, so they have the nicest tune, you ever hear. So that, you believe that the world around you is going to be just fine, even if it don’t. SO that you will get the courage and passion you had lost.

Self claimed as bartender, I should admit he is helpful, as he listened on the other line about my problems. He gonna be among the first person, knowing my crisis, major break-ups, conflicts, healthcare and anything I can list from A to Z. I can just open up, until he can actually read my mind. The same person who I could talk to, laugh my lung out of his witty jokes, and crap just about everything until my phone credit turned zero, or his. He might get bored or annoyed but I just didn’t care. Even when it was 4 am, where I couldn’t sleep, crying over my beloved mother, he was always there to comfort me, as usual. Or, All I can say, I am the one who always desperately seek him.

He is not a Saint, neither Satan. He might be little bit of both. People did alarm me about how contagious he can be. But sometimes people only manage to notice the small black spot out of the white, pure canvas. It is really up to you, to pick which side of him. Good or Bad. Devil or Angel. Yes, he ditched me few times, but to expect him to be perfect, is not fair.

With understanding and sight, he can punch heart. Not for the eye catchy he is, or for the fame he had gained, BUT for the fact that he believes my stories are worth listening. Or at least I believe, he did. But not long enough, I realized that my heart has its own language.J I don’t want to live the past.

In the outside, he looks like a tough shell, hard to be broken but I know deep inside, he is just fragile as the others. Maybe my kerbstone English in this post has not done justice for what he had done, but I truly speak this from the bottom of my heart. And if only he crosses this, I wholeheartedly thank him for being a dedicated bartender all this while.

I made the choice to turn up to him, and some choice is not made lightly.

Friday, June 24, 2011

a tour guide

So, my beloved friends - MO9L from KMB went to Sabah on 19-22. So, I'm becoming their professional tour guide to kundasang to see the gigantic mount Kinabalu and not to forget to soak ourselves @Hot spring Ranau.

And I just love this pic so much,

Thanks for coming :)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


i dream of running on the surface of the moon, where everything is weightless , even doubt.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

plus plus plus

H O T hot H O T hot H O T

Okay. Tell them I am coming home. Hahaha, I’m here ( KK ) since 9/6/11. Nothing much to be updated, just I’m looking forward to gain weight. Even my BMI is pretty normal, 19.5 if I am not mistaken, but still I need to put up some fat to wrap my skeletal structure. :D

To be true, I was impressed with Lena a.k.a Christina Milan, the captain of Malibu Dream Team in Bring in on 2. She is hot! Smoking hot!!! People should see her dance, the way she did the magic with the gentle movement. Her hips, and lips are way perfect. Since I was child, I had this interest in Latin American, they are like super duper gorgeous and their accent, are adorable. I prefer black than the white girl. And yes I am talking about the girls. Don’t get me wrong, I am straight. I like boys too, like other normal girls. hahahahha.

I can see myself in Lena, she is stubborn. She didn’t care much about people, unless they touch the wrong point. And reminder, don’t mess with her cheerleading squat and the game itself. I can feel she loves cheerleading as much as I love volleyball. Well, maybe we can relate the characters in any story if they were/are related to ourselves, aren’t we?. And this is another thing that bugging me. Will there any space for me to play volleyball later? Can I really adapt in the new environment and join them? I am not so sure. But I already plant in my mind, if I dare to dream, I should be able to make it real. Jemz, you wanna be an International Volleyball player? Then you will do anything to make it come true, HIT IT!

So come back to the real story, I had plan some activities to make sure I gain weight in this 3 months holiday. First, I need a balance diet. Thanks a lot to HerbaLife. Now, I consume the Herbalife Aloevera liquid to clean up my digestive system, the tea mix to detoxify unwanted substances off my body, F3 soy to increase my appetite and F1 for just nice nutrition for my body. 2ndly, I will cycle around _________ km back and forth from my house, Malawa Court and Taman Setia, where my aunt lives. And usually, I come over my aunt’s house for a tea. Hahahaha, I really need to be careful because I am riding on the highway, which is the main road for other vehicles too. SAFETY FIRST. I know!

The first arrow : my aunt's house

The 2nd arrow : my house

My passion : Volleyball

Saturday, June 4, 2011


Okay. now am staying in USJ, because my flight is on 9th June, which is next week. OMG, I miss Sabah like crazy but thats it, I need to enjoy my time here. So, we have an awesome outing, maybe for the last time before we are heading to our, well different pathways

Safo, me, farah & Hanim

1 June is Arsah's birthday ( the guy), so we all decided to share money and bought him, a black baju Melayu for graduation day! Happy birthday Arsah! May Allah bless you.

2nd row white T-shirt : Fareeza
1st row : Black scraft : Niena.

Whatever it is, I hope our friendship last forever, dunia dan akhirat. InsyAllah!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

for Junior Kolej Mara Banting ( 2011)

Junior Kolej Mara Banting ( 2011)

Okayy, atas permintaan one of my teachers, MR. Axxxx so, I come up with this guidelines.

Ketahuilah bahawa your teacher sangat prihatin terhadap his students, especially for bdk2 mrsm Tun Abdul Razak, Pahang. So this is not really guidelines, but something to look up for, especially for those yang interested/eager/excited or maybe have no idea, what the heck is IB and where the heck is KMB. Even if you had google walkthrough, well maybe you just need some details or explanation, here and there. So keep reading on,

Where is KOLEJ MARA BANTING @ kmb?

Basically just google it. You will find it much more easier rather than followed the map given along with the offer letter. But, the map is pretty okay I think, unless you can't read it, (like me) ask better person to analyze it for you. And 1 more thing, it is not located in Banting, but nearby a Government clinic of Bukit Changgang.

What is IB ?

International Baccalaureate. If you brag about you're getting into IB school to any local students, your mak cik, pak cik, ckgu sekolah lama, MOSTLY will asked you back,

" What is IB?" haha, don't worry. It is a fact that Malaysian rarely known what is IB stands for or whether it is a good level , until you replied

" IB just like A level" YES. Then only they will nod and plaster a smile on their face! My point is, don't bragged about IB, because not many people knew about it. Both are good courses indeed, but IB takes you in a longer route, I mean you have to finish your diploma within 2 years, while I think most A level students finish theirs in one year, isn't it? I think so.


Majority of the students are taking MEDICINE, followed by ENGINEERING, Biotechnology and dentistry. But in 2011, one class of ikthisas being introduced. I don't really know much about it, but I heard they learnt environmental science instead of Bio/Chem/Phy.

Luckily, during my time all the JPA students had been destined to go abroad to UK for all courses. But started with my junior-time, all the medicine and dentistry- JPA students are bound to Ireland. While the rest still bound with UK. I think it is pretty safe for them, because they do not need to compete for placement, which a struggle for all the non-JPA students, including me. But Im not sure for Petronas scholar.


Take note, you are required to take 6 subjects, 3 Higher levels and 3 standard levels which you will be learnt in 2 years in KMB. The real IB exam, ( which will determine whether you can get into university or not) will be held at the end of 2 years. So basically it is just like SPM or O level, where you need to learn from A to Z, then only you sit for the real exam. Bad news, you cant escape, because there will be a semester exam every 6 months, just like ordinary college or U in Malaysia. And trial exam @ Mock IB will be held 1 week before the real IB.

1) Language A1

Regardless of what course are you in, you are compulsory to take Language A1. Language A1 is a subject of your mother tongue. Aha, you need to learn Malay A1 SL. Jangan ingat nak pergi oversea, x belajar Malay. You are completely wrong. But I would say it is an opportunity for you to unleash your potential in literature. Yup. You only learn SASTERA.

2) Language B

Okay, you are compulsory to learn English HL for medicine and biotechnology students while for engineering student you need to take English SL. But if any of the engineering students interested of taking English HL, it should all right!

3) Pure Mathematics

Okay, all the engineering students are compulsory to take Mathematics HL while non-engineering students can choose whether to take Mathematics SL or HL.

4) Biology HL / Physics HL

For engineering students, you are compulsory to take Physics HL. So, the non-engineering students including dentistry, biotechnology and medicine are compulsory to take Biology HL .

5) Chemistry HL

All students regardless of their courses are compulsory to take CHEMISTRY HL.

6) Social Science subject

You are free to choose one of these subject, either Business and Management, Economics or Integrated Technology and System. All is only available in SL level.

So, for example, if you are medicine student, your subjects will be

Malay SL, English HL, Math SL/HL , Biology HL, Chemistry HL and Business/Econs/ITGS SL.

Enough right, 3 HL and 3 SL, or if you are risk taker go ahead with 4HL and 2 SL.

Grading/ Band

So, if last time A+++++ is the highest grade you can score, then you can assume it will be equivalent to a " 7 ". So A will be a "6". And 5,4,3,...1. To be honest teacher won't expect you to get A "7" because "6" is actually good enough. But if you can get a " 7 " , it is a bonus! Personally, I only got 7 twice ( excluding the IB exam) for all the semester exams in KMB. To get honour roll @ bdk mrsm called it "penghormatan pengetua", you need to get 36.

So, 6 subjects x 7 = 42. But later on you will be introduced with EE ( just like mini thesis ) and TOK essay which contribute to bonus 3 points. So the real score for IB is 42 + 3 = 45.


This is the most controversional issue especially for non-JPA students. You have choices to choose which country you prefer to go abroad to, including IRELAND ( for medicine and dentistry) , Twinning Ireland - 2 and 1/2 in Ireland and 2 and 1/2 in Malaysia, United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, Canada ( for engineering and Biotech only), Czech republic, India and Malaysia. Its a complicated story to tell but one thing for sure, you need to be excellent in semester exam and pass the interview to get the your dream country.

I guess thats all from now. All this information is based on my experience in kmb. Now Im waiting for my IB result, pray for me, okay!

Any enquirers, you are welcome to ask. Thank you.