So the toughest moment had passed. My mother had successfully undergone her breast cancer surgery, for the 2nd time. I remembered the last time I had this anxiety inside of me. I can't sleep tho my final was just around the corner.
Crying all alone until 4 am, because I was just too worried. Alhamdulilah, Allah had helped her again.
Not to mention, in this life, success doesn't always define your own happiness. Squatting in the loo, letting all the tears streaming down my cheeks, I prayed to Allah,
" I don't really mind if I do not get the so-called-distinction for my final, or if I just pass the exam with average marks, please protect her ya Allah. I really hope my mama is still alive. Of course, I can't imagine the otherwise. I really want to fast together, so I can kiss her hands, hold her tight and celebrate Raya for this year"
And HIS POWER is unbeatable. I trade my result for her well life. For that reason alone, for a daughter that cares, it is worth it. No question, the benefit is beyond the cost put on my shoulder.