Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Confession (she)

"And I feel so alone sometimes, that I didn't find anyone I could really share the deep thought of mine"- she said.

I looked at her, without a blink. I wouldn't never expect those words were actually coming out of her mouth. I used to envy her, on how she keeps people around her. She knows to do chore- to cook our local food, to bake delicious cake, to draw cartoon and bla bla bla. She is multi-talented, pious and smart, too. When the other side, I just love to follow my gut. Do anything I like to do.But she did admit the things that I thought, I'm the only one who are drowning in that mess.

I know, people might not talk this out loud, just because they think they shouldn't. Or maybe they just didn't like to look like a pathetic fellow who usually feel lonely. To be frank, friendship break-ups is like a cycle in my life. It haunted me since I'm in primary school ,high school and obviously here. The only exception is, in beloved my college. One minute people are nice to you, we shared the foods, laughter and enjoy each other companies. Next seconds, everything is start to change. I began to wonder what went wrong. Maybe I'm just too sensitive, maybe people not in the good mood, they need space or maybe I'm over-reacting. Most of the time,I'll keep quite and share the things with Muna. And she said, JUST BE NICE TO PEOPLE.

I did. I try to make a conservation or to pull a smile in my face. But somehow, the world isn't in my hands. I had no power on controlling people. But more than anything, I feel like - enough. I began to wonder, who am I again?

I give up. I feel really upset, but hey. Challenges are created to make me stronger. Maybe this is one form of test to me. That God really wants to me to re-evaluate myself and feel closer to HIM. As He is my Creator, of course He will know the best for oneself. I just believe that people will come and go as they may, but the True Friend stay. Maybe they are far away, maybe they are near but they will be around when I need them. ( God's willing)
Those who decide to leave, they are welcome to do so. I wouldn't make any effort to make them stay any longer. Keep your companies,then I will keep mine.


  1. Some peps are like that. Be strong and live up your life. boleh bah kalau ko!!

  2. perhaps. People need space. :) Boleh bah kalau ko. thanks