Tuesday, October 18, 2011

hero (in)

Like crossing the bridge, there are moments where you will grip the handle so hard, afraid from failing down, or maybe direct your attention on your feet, putting extra careful in steps you are about to take.

“ Try not to jump” she said.


It was a hot afternoon where I ran back to my hostel to take a siesta before attending the Remedial class at 230pm. On my way, I stopped immediately at Ain Ariffin’s room, as a poster of a cute baby in a grim, clenching a fist and a note spotted down the picture “SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO BE YOUR OWN HERO” really caught my attention.

And one year had gone. Now I’m standing in a different land, with distinct languages being spoken. Luckily English is widely use among professional people over here, but I’m more interested to learn Kannada and Hindi. The subject is quite okay, as Prof KJ mentioned before, medicine is a simple yet adventurous subject. It is easy but you need to tackle the huge volume of the content. So true, imagine the class is started from 8am to 5pm, every Monday to Saturday. (: How cool is that? And can you imagine how many things I learn in a day? Absorption of knowledge is a question, but more than that, I enjoyed learning new things everything. For me, it is beyond memorizing what is ‘ala’, or ‘mastoid process’ or maybe what is tendon made up of?. It is more like the spirit of a baby starting to learn ABC, or counting as simple as 1 2 3. She is smart not by knowing everything in a first attempt but by forgiving herself as she made mistakes all along.

Adapting is another issue. Since I was in form 1, I learnt to be independent, being in a boarding school for 5 years, and after that spending my precious 2 years in a heaven called Mara College Banting. To be honest, I still stuck in reverse. Deep inside my heart, that college really mould to become who I am today. The place which I hate at first turned out to be a place where I hardly accept that I’m no longer it’s permanent citizen. I learn the hard way that excellent result doesn’t indicate that you’re intelligent, at the end it is only a piece of a paper, just a ticket for you to start your other journey. Because the most crucial thing is WHAT YOU HAD BECOME at the end.

I’m lucky to have a loyal and sister-like roommate. Her name is Deebs. She just won the Best of Short Movie awards for Trinity 2011. I’m so happy for her. Well, she is wayyyyy toooo nice to me. I mean she respects all my decisions, she knows how to handle my anger plus frustrations, she knows how to celebrate my joys and most of all, she understand whenever I need my privacy space (when I need to be alone). Because I just don’t see any point of being clingy here. I love to walk wherever my legs take me, I love to laugh with the people I just met, I love to hang out with a bunch of girls in the juice shop or just sitting next to random people in different lectures. I lead my life that way. Not to say I don’t have any closest friend, or clique, but in a mean time, I just want to be like this. Still, being reserved doesn’t mean I need to be quite. I’m still a chatterbox, whenever necessary. And somehow, you had to love yourself, being a hero and save your own life, from drowning in the ocean of shock.

And I’m my own hero(in). Am fixing myself and continue to cross this bridge, and I’m not afraid of the wooden holes. Oh Allah, please show me the way. (:


  1. That 'Baby''s supposed to be seen on my side of the door only - i acted on impulse and pasted it to face the corridor instead. :) Amazing how small thoughts lead to ideas and inspirations. InshaAllah, soon enough, you'll find your pace, your rhythm - and I wish you all the best in dancing with your life's lullabies!