Apologize for my Only One

I called my abah just now. As usual, I told him about knowledge from ‘usrah’. This time is about the benefit ‘wuduq’ and 3 things that can save us from being punished in our grave. The 3 things are knowledge that is beneficial for others, the sincere donations and pray from a ‘solehah’ children. Tears rolling down my face, Alhamdulilah. It is a simple word but carry a BIG MEANING.

Thank you Allah, for being the Most Generous lover, for listening to my pray and recitation. For make my ultimate dreams become reality. And give YOUR Shine to brighten our pathway. Living as a real Muslim family. But, Ya Allah, please don’t let my love for HUMAN more than my love for You Allah, My Only One.

Every day is a precious day, at least Iam still alive. Still have the ability to inhale the oxygen and release carbon dioxide. To see the wonderful and colourful world with my two eyes. To listen to His words , healthy body to perform solah, and brain- to think about Him. Dear Allah, alhamdulilah. I am sorry for starting things without basmalah .I’m sorry for the ungrateful attitude towards everything You grant upon me. Astagfirlah, I am been forgetting to be grateful for everything you bestowed upon me. Astagfirlah, Sorry when I put other things before You. I am sorry for being too busy with my study and sometimes delay my solah. I am sorry for staying up late for finishing TOK, EE , IA but not for performing solah hajat, tahajjud and taubah. I am sorry for succumb to my lust for food without being grateful for the rezki.

Narrated Anas ibn Malik: Allah's Apostle (peace_be_upon_him) said: Allah is pleased with His servant who says: Alhamdulillah while taking a morsel of food and while drinking. Sahih Muslim

Ya, Allah guided me with Islam, let it blooms in my heart, soothe in my body and show me the straight pathway to pass through. Ameen.

too much?

DARK

TALL

AND OH-NOT-SO-HANDSOME

DELETED!

6 goals, 6 Balls!

6 goals, 6 Balls!

After taking some time, I wish to change the title to “ 6 rings and 6 basketballs”. J

Today is the last day for the KMB-ian students to have a last blast break. Obviously, tomorrow is Monday, which means official class will start at 8 am while students still in mode holiday blanketed with Monday Blues. The transaction mode really annoyed the teachers. They are so motivated to teach, while the students are demotivated to learn. Excuse me, most of the students. Ehem( clear throat) hahha

For the year 2’s, we have less than 3 months to go. But some still struggle finishing and editing their EEs, generate critical thinking to write TOK essays, searching for a new title for RE-DO TOK presentation, LAB Reports and some non- study oriented thingy. Yet, everyone knew that we are running out of time, but nothing can be done to make it stop ticking. Even if we can, the time will not succumb to us, it will still pass by, leaving us far behind.

So, there is actually 6 balls I wanna share with the readers,( if they are reading), on how to tackle the last minute syllabus. Bear in mind, I wasn’t a great student, but I got this from my friend’s sister who is currently studying in UK. I am not saying she is the best achiever to share the ingredients of success, but who knows it might help you. And sorry, some of the tips are blended with my personal perspective. Enjoy!

1)MALAY A1 - Read a lot of good articles such as Dewan Sastera, see the style of the writing and practise to write it.

2)English HL/ SL – Okay, I am not great enough for English, but I would say read a lot. Again! Magazines and song lyrics helped me a lot in improvise my vocabulary but not my grammar or sentence structure. While some might find Readers Digest is useful, I rather feel it boring because it is too lengthy. Useful tips, read any English materials that you find interesting. In writing essay, you should know better of yourself. I am more likely to choose essay which is semi formal, because I cannot bear with formality. Even if I can, but not as good as crapping in semi formal- such as diary or movie review.hahha. In paper 1, especially the hard-to-understand text C, it is recommended for you to google for classic short stories. Familiarize yourself with Classic English words to further strengthen your vocabulary.

3 (a)Biology HL – She said “ Read slowly and digest the correct term. It is advisable for you, to write notes before IRP session. I usually read 1 whole chapter, and based on the assessment statement, I would write my own notes with no or little reference from the IB Biology books. Later on, check the missing information and read the answer scheme from IB Question Banks. IB study guide help me memorize them faster, but your notes should be complete and better than it. It is easy to see whether you are excellent in memorizing or not, by re-telling your friend the whole concept. If you get it right, then you are mastered the concept. Bravo.

3(b)PHYSICS HL – sorry. No idea.

4) Chemistry HL – She said “As for chemistry, it is a bunch of concepts that you should master. Unlike BIO, it is not the matter of memorizing because the questions might cover almost 1/3 elements from the periodic table. What you really need to do, is a reliable book, for example IB Text Book,( with assessment statement), a periodic table and read the examples. Ask your teacher if you are blur or misunderstood the concept. Write a good note, and refer the answer from question banks. Especially for paper 3, the questions are repetitive in every year.

5) Mathematics SL/HL - The unspoken subject. Do exercise within the right amount of time. See the teacher, have a good note based on the syllabus outline and EXERCISE, EXERCISE, EXERCISE.

For Science Social subject :

6(a)*Business& Management SL – Case study and concept.

6(b)*Economy SL – Graph.

6(c)* ITGS – General Knowledge.

“Nothing ever great ever achieved without DETERMINATION”- I read this on the magnetic sticker of Sharifah Nadirah’s locker. This is indeed true, if you really want something, put as much effort as you can. Even some might say, SEM 3 result is a disaster, and the unfinished work is a burden, it will never too late, to do something about it.

There is a senior of KMB, who always got below 30 for her exams. And she always be a target for remark as a ‘weak student’. While you can show off your exams result which stated “ good or excellent” result. She won’t show hers, because words like “SATISFACTORY and even MEDIOCRE” are there. But she is strong, with the never ending effort and absolutely from ALLAH’s help, she managed to 36 in final exam. She is currently doing medic in Czech Republic, and the “A” achiever for most of her subjects.

“Allah, won’t test you (human) beyond their capabilities”

Remember “ See the opportunities in every difficulties ,( Insyirah )

Apart from that, have a beauty sleep and good exercise. It promotes blood circulation in your brain while rest help to restoration of memory. Pray to Allah, read Qor’an, and believe everything will be fine. InsyALLAH.

So, in our final tournament in May 2011, we have 6 balls to be thrown, or to be kicked, to be tapped, or what so over skill you have, as long as, you hit your GOAL! C'est la vie'. Good luck all.

filter them, girls

Filter them girls

For profit sake, media and the diet industry trying to implement standard of beauty, using air brushed flawless model representation in advertisement or health magazine, resulting women constantly fight hard to achieve the unattainable image. Thinness, Fairer skin are their main agenda.

After the exhausting moment of brain storming, our English group – Anis, me, aaron and Ros came up with this thesis statement. I am getting bored with thesis statement, but my cute English teacher constantly forced us to digest how to do them and writing the perfect thesis statement for our English essay.

Tok teacher asked my English teacher “ Didn’t you teach your student how to write thesis statement and topic sentence? I can’t find topic sentence and bla bla in their TOK essay”

My English teacher : +_+ -speechless-

Sigh, now I knew the reason behind all the never-ending exercises of thesis statement and topic statement. I bet she wished we can eat it, and never forget about it, until the rest of our life. It is unstoppable, I mean all the exercises until we can score 9/10 or perfect score for our thesis statement. Then only, I realized something

MEDIA – BEAUTY- PROFIT SAKE

As a girl, to be honest, I would constantly check myself in front of the mirror. Whether my scarf right at its place, less acne pop up on my face, my eyes didn’t look so panda, my baju kurung didn’t too crumple, put sun block before playing sport. I bet all of the girls will do the same, if not, majority of them did. It is hard to resist the existence of mirror, or even the library windows or anything that can reflect our glimpse, as we passed them by. GIRLS. Again.

As much as we concern how we look like. We have the tendency to compare ourselves to any girls around us. Be it our best friends, our idol, the sought-after- actress who is labelled as HOT, or just the bloggers who expose their pretty face in their blog.

And when we did not meet up the establish standard, we tend to be upset. Wasting dollars in the skin product that claimed themselves that they can cure our harmless disease, and end up frustrating because the unsuccessful result. Worst than that, we are hurting ourselves inside out. Telling we are not as pretty as her, as slim as her, as fair as her.... and the never ending thought plastered in our mind.

Poor us. Back then?

What is beauty anywhere? Who judged beauty, huh? Did you put the standard of beauty in the hand of the media? or the fake pharmacist that offered the expensive “ best sold” skin products? Or in the hand of guys who tell you this body size is considerable HOT? Or to those who asked you to wear braces because of your GIGANTIC rabbit teeth?

Hahaha, girls. We are all beautiful. Allah created us with the perfect body figure and pretty face. Growing up and let go the criticism. I know it hurts to receive all the bad remarks that will engulf your inner beauty.

Let them be. Filter the negative thought. You are still pretty, and as amazing as you are in your own way. Don’t change a bit of yourself.

Bruno mars- Just the way you are. This is a wonderful song, outshine your inner beauty, because it will mould you, become who you are now.

I am not telling, not to cleanse your face, skip the moisture or your sunblock, stop applying body solution or make up. Or stop playing with colours when you are about to go out, or date. Do it, as long as it makes you happy. Do it with the intention to appreciate your body and beauty.

Because, people will appreciate your beauty if your appreciate it first. This is the main reason, why I don’t wanna wear braces, even after the BIGGEST remarks I had to face during KASUKMA (sport day). The uncivilized people, who were using dirty weapon to bring us down. I love my teeth, even it is not perfect, even I will be the first one who will be rejected if there is selection for toothpaste -model, I don’t care much. After 19 years old, my rabbit teeth are there, always there and ease my eating process. Missing tooth would be a nightmare for me.

I am grateful to have good friends, who are always by my side, and be my confident. They are perfect example of the most confident girls with their inner beauty.

t

And them, hotty fareeza and pretty fi

of fashionable MUNA and rocky jemmy :)

And a guy, who I think, not so handsome but he is confident in himself. I never meet him, but I can feel his aura, from his personality.

HIM, pierre andre. I am a big fan of him. ;)

SO girls, take the STANDARD OF BEAUTY back in your hands, hold it tightly. And, love yourself, J

mischievous thought

To : Lala

Forbidden love , right before my eyes,

But I know, patient is a virtue, sigh..

My throat keep screaming shut, nobody can hear my cries

I’m not in love with you, I’m just in love at you

There is a difference,

The expectation of intimacy is never there, but I’m just a hopeful skeptic, waiting for a smile, for the moment of passing by,

Looking down, I know I couldn’t handle

But arrogant is never my intention,

People come, people go,

Leaving nothing but memory, will vanish in no time,

Having past self come calling,

And wishing you could warn yourself about what’s happening

Recite a prayer, hoping Allah will hear my plight,

I valued whatever time we had left, rather than bitterly counted it down,

If

Silent if the prefect line, before real distant will be a million miles,

I bet everything gonna be fine.

10, 9, 8....

Okay, I just got back my EE last friday. :( Soo many things to be corrected. And the worst part is my advisor put the dateline for turn it in (plagiarsm checker) on this Monday. Waaaa~ I had to give all out, typing 4000 words in 2 days. I bet I can apply for any type writers occupancy after this. wheee~~

And I had a lot of things to be done, including revision for my syllabus. Counting, less than 100 days to go, for IB MAY 2011.

So, I sat in E09C, typing my EE, just simply because they have plug in their class. I am too lazy to fight for the-only- plug in my own class. I am doing Business, as I thought it will be easier rather than doing Science's thesis, including Chemistry or Biology. TEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTT~ I am a dead wrong.

It is much harder, because I am taking Business standard level. To produce an analytical essay, firstly one have to master the concept of business tool or strategy, and maybe further reading on the higher level will help much. Yay, I bet I just speak out the solution. Since morning, I was revising on the growth strategy and studying the relevant tools in higher level syllabus.

As my fingers delicately hit the keyboards, my eyes sharply focus on the words counts.

10000 achieved, Alhamdulilah. 3OOO words to go. Shahirah, Abrar and Nad were in the class trying hard to finish their MATH PORTFOLIO.

Pity on them, I cannot imagine if I still take MATH HL. Doing EE is a suffocation to me, plus MATH PORTFOLIO, which meant to be sent in the same day, ermmm double or triple the pain. But, I love this way.

This is why I love IB actually, time would not be simple wasted. Strictly speaking, if you had nothing to be done, it is either you are super duper smart student or you might be tangled by the cliche' term named "PROCASTINATE".

and in the evening, I reward myself with a jog. It is merely a gift for my so-called-hardwork. Jog is a bless, with the ticking of rain, mixed with the bed of sweats and the inconsistent breathing, I felt like throwing away the pain, from my soul.

I was desperately want to let it go.

lala, lala, lala.

:p I have been thinking about him lately. I saw he's playing with yellow shirt yesterday, but I never passed him by. I bet he never know me in person. It is just I think I had built FRAGILE bridge between us. Invisible bridge, loosely. I bet time can easily destroy it.

I love the distance tho'. thank you lala.

my mind plays trick on me

I heard you cry loud,but please stop whining, stop wailing. Stop screaming in silence, clean up the mess in your face, doubting your self will never end. You will never be able to force something if it doesn't right.

Sometimes you're the one who give yourself the creeps. Or you just paranoid. It is not a question, but a lesson to be learned in your life.

Time grab her go,it is something unpredictable but she hopes she had done it right. She had much closer than you ever know. Don't catch her falling, let the pain knock her down. The bleed, the scar remind the nightmare of her life.

So make the test and don't ask why.

Just play the memory and keep it play over and over again in your mind. Here lies the truth you will never know.

So, when you lose your hope and excuses, nothing left to cling to.. and where you should go know?

...........

She saw no dead end,

And I dragged her into the road, wake her up, with the sense of reality.

Sincere JAM.

Now I am Safo's house. In the morning I went to clinic for hepatitis screening, ermm basically I have to check whether I had antibiotic for that or not. and bla bla bla.

Nothing much, the result was out last few weeks. AND alhamdulilah I see improvement, even it is not Big. I knew that Im getting closer, to my dream.. And my nightmare became a reality, my BIology teacher, as expected throw her tantrum at us. Imagine only 2 person got 6 in my class and mode is 5. and Im one of them who contribute to the mode percentage. AIYOOOO, go BIOlogy. Im gonna put YOU down.

Talking to my heart today. I really happy. Safo and Syed shared money to buy a baju kurung. Ouh, actually Im the one who constantly remind them about my present last Dec. but back in college, I almost forget about it. ( because of assingments, I had less time with my ME time). It just like, the unexpected thing you got when you are less expected it.

And, IBU ( safo'S mom) gave 2 pairs of baju kurung too. I don't know how to thank them. Now I have new baju kurung for class. :) THIS IS SOUND SOO KID.

and lastly, am waiting for the other present from my neighbour. She promised me to post a pair of baju kurung. yeah2 come baju kurung, come to me.