huhuhu, abah i miss you,
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
yup, this is for you. continue reading...
i cant text yo, coz i love keyboard much much more than keypad. calling will cause the credit running out without i even realize it.( yup because of the stupid silent moment juga, x worth it)
face to face? a major NO NO,
talking to people, my trusting system turns topsy-turvy. i rather keep this silent.
and this is the only way, to pour my feeling outta my heart,
can i call you jerk? i really want to, screaming at your face and walk away, hahah :) should I? could I?
nah, am not that mean.
my life takes me down a bunch of crazy roads. I have personal probs, break-ups, friendship conflict, my health ( toplist)
and I had to figure out how to be cool, and less gelabah, tryin' so hard to hide my pale face by laughing out loud, wearing facade over this pathetic jemmy
and and calling my parents so often, their voice - enough to comfort me. ( usually i call more than 2 times per day)
i dont wanna fall apart when the roads gets bumpy, i am stronger. i am.
the thing is, when am going through this emoshitt probs, its great to have you by my side. but no matter what you say, its not going to make this better but at least you listened. its great, having you, as one of those friends who are willing to lend your ears, to me. because the more i talked about the situation, the more I'd become to the answer n create my own solutions.
and thats is when I can move on and get over it.
THANK YOU A BUNCH. what else I can say?? you really like a chlorox. help me to ease my working by pulling off the dirty out of my lovable shirt. thanks chlorox. but
why, the most trusted person dared to break the trust? SHIT happens huh? a ah. and Im not expecting you to be a perfect friend. but what is your real intention?? laughing at the back? whatttt???
and am really shocked, when am playing, the boy really uttered the message that is meant for u,
it is when am not looking, big winds up coming along,
follows by thunder
and you left me in guilt. you know this is the hardest part, what would you expected me to say? to act? when im living under the same roof as her.??
i feel like a betrayer, am I???life goes on, im sorry.
it goes on.
no matter how dramatic or traumatic , it would never damage me severely. INSYALLAH. and I can truly say that, i've never been afraid to do something to THE FULLEST out of fear of getting hurt.
you know, every relationship,
i learn what i love about that person, as well as what I dont about the person. and through all of that, wind up becoming more clearer.
its okay to let go. its okay to enjoy. i never forget the vow, wont let the friendship split up. i always remember the time I got trouble, and needy. but are you always there? or am im the one who is despertely searching for you?
" i dont need anyone"
" i know how to rely only myself and heal myself"
and thats lie. that i owez feed in my mind. losing friend is never easy,
and FRIENDS ARE NOT GREAT AT EVERYTG. but they still friend. :)
i dont care much bout my things, i dont care much for people. bt i do care bout friend, look up you'll see. i see those light, even in the pitch black darkness.
and, iam learning about myself. the cursor pointed me. i knew,
Thursday, October 7, 2010
i lose. we lose. i keep asking, am not a goood captain? maybe it was about the external factors? should i take the blame? i wanna win, so badly.
win doesnt mean everything, i know it. i just know it. i guess i knew it.
mistake is hard to undone, but i had no control over my own flaws. some mistakes are funny. one day, i will turn back, and laugh at myself. how silly i am.
high? tipsy? merry?
dont mix caffeine with your coke. it drives me nut, drives me crazy.